Imprints from Formative Years:
Growing up I was a very eclectic and enthusiastic kid. My parents always wanted me to be good at whatever I did, so I would put my heart and soul into every competition. However, during my teenage years, I was often muddled with the thought of not being good enough. I was heavily bullied, mocked at, and my confidence was shattered. But academics were my strength, that’s where I felt very confident. Doing well in exams or school competitions was my way to over-compensate for the bullying.
My attitude towards my career specifically changed when I
won Mr. Gay India, and I met Sushant or Rani Ko-He-Noor as we very popularly
know her today. Sushant believes he can achieve anything that he wishes, and he
seeded that thought into all his mentees. I started pushing myself even more,
with a lot more belief that I can achieve anything in life with determination,
hard work, focus and commitment. I genuinely believe that every human being is
talented in some way or the other. It’s often the belief in our potential that
matters. Belief can get us started, and then it’s all about the commitments that
keep us going.
Embracing the Warrior Within:
Every cussword that you can think of was thrown at me,
and that’s the reality of every femme queer person in this country. Every
uncomfortable question that you can think of, starting from what’s between my
legs, to why I speak like a girl, to when I chose to be gay, was randomly
dropped on me, and I loathed answering these questions. It would remind me of
the time I wanted to kill myself because of my femme demeanor.
At the lowest point of my life, I’m grateful my
17-year-old self-chose to live. I wanted greater things from life. I’m a
dreamer, and I’ve always been filled with larger-than-life aspirations. They
say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, and that’s my story. No matter
what storm brews in my life, I can wake the very next morning, shut the world
outside and move on with my head held high.
Importance of Diversity & Inclusion:
Opportunities and representation in mainstream media for
many of us is still a far-cry. A handful of us doing well and getting
mainstream representation is a good start, but that’s simply not enough,
especially in 2021. I believe we deserve the entire platter- non-discriminatory
policies, same-sex partnership rights, marriage equality, adoption rights,
equitable wages, and a way better representation that is stronger, dignified
and empowering. No more bumbling buffoons, or sex maniacs, or caricatures.
We’re living breathing equal beings and we need to be treated and represented
like one.
Aspiring a Society Free of Labels:
Education and awareness is the need of the hour.
Moreover, social and judicial reforms need to go hand in hand. Start with
teaching your kids about the gender spectrum, make everyone aware of the trials
and tribulations of every marginalized community there is. Let people
acknowledge that some of us do have it easier; this will encourage them to be
stronger allies, and create spaces for the marginalized. I believe in the
vision of a label-less world, but we’re quite far away from that.
Most Impactful Lessons from my Mentors:
“We all hold such infinite potential within the fortress
of our minds, dare to tap into your greatness, it is your birth right”. I read
this in Robin Sharma’s ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’; I live by this quote
every day. The importance of community and supporting each other to create
opportunities and representation for all of us is what I’ve learned from my
mentors. We’re uplifted only when each one of us in the community is uplifted.
And of course, the idea of belief, resilience, focus, hard work, self-love and
commitment, they’re all indispensable.