Early
Life & Foundations
Though my books have been
honored with the Books of Excellence Award and The Times Group recognized me as
one of the most influential leadership speakers and executive coaches, life was
not always like this for a girl born in India who later built her adult life in
America. Let me share a glimpse of my journey—and the transformation I had to
create within myself—to get where I am today.
“How on earth did I get
here?” is a question people have asked me many times. But for the first time, I
asked it myself as I walked up to the stage, dressed in a blue shirt and black
suit, to receive the prestigious Times Group Award for the Most Influential
Executive Coach.
As the presenter read my
bio, I heard him say I was the only woman of color from India to be recognized
as a leadership author and coach in an industry in America dominated almost
entirely by white men.
It was at that moment
that I thought to myself—there were no authors or coaches in my family
background. Then how did a woman of color like me, from a working-class family,
manage to compete and make a name for herself in a predominantly white,
male-driven society?
If you had met me in
1996, right after I completed my undergraduate degree in economics, my life
would have looked completely different.
I grew up in a loving
family where education was the highest priority. After finishing my undergrad,
I went to business school—not out of passion, but because of societal belief
that an MBA sets you up for life. That decision led me into the corporate world
of America.
I was raised in a
generation where girls were taught the art of taking care—of themselves, their
homes, and their families. My mother constantly reminded me to be mindful of
what I wore, how I walked and talked, and how I managed the household.
Education and career were important, but they weren’t viewed as central to a
woman’s life.
By 2001, I was an
ordinary girl doing a nine-to-five job, working hard, and living what many call
the “American dream.” In the evenings, I would meet friends over dinner or
drinks. On weekends, I would relax, rent a few DVDs from Blockbuster (yes, it
existed then), or snuggle tight in bed for long hours.
But deep inside, I had no
idea what I wanted from my career or my personal life. I had a job, but no
clear direction, no sense of purpose, and very little self-worth. Growth,
leadership, achieving something significant—none of that was part of my vision.
I felt lost.
It was during these
confusing years that my father planted a seed of belief in me. He told me I
could become anything I wanted, that life held many possibilities.
It was the first time
someone close to me had said something like that. In America, self-help gurus
and motivational tapes constantly preach belief in oneself. But when words like
these come from someone in your inner circle, they don’t just touch your
mind—they enter your soul.
That moment made me
hungry to make something of myself, though truthfully, I was also terrified
that I would amount to nothing. I wanted to leave my mark on the world. I
wanted to create history—not just become a part of it.
Why
Most People Struggle—and How I Found My Answer
I never knew I would
become a leadership speaker, an author, or, for that matter, an entrepreneur. I
had a very successful start to my career in India before moving to the United
States of America—and that’s when life truly changed for me.
When I relocated to the
United States in the summer of 2000, friends and family constantly reminded me
that I was stepping into the land of opportunities, where people achieved
extraordinary success.
In the beginning, things
were great. I lived the so-called American Dream and was excited to advance in
my career. But deep inside, there was a sense of unfulfillment because of the
reality I observed around me. Despite the abundance of information and
resources, and despite being in a land of opportunities, most people still
struggled at work. There existed a huge gap between the “successful few” and
the “unsuccessful many.” That gap made me uneasy.
So, I began turning to
books and the internet to understand what it truly takes to reach the top. And
what I found was confusing. On one hand, the business world teaches us that not
everyone can succeed. On the other, the same business world trains us to
maximize our potential and insists that we all can succeed and reach the top.
Aren’t those conflicting messages?
Add to this the
overwhelming amount of information on what it supposedly takes to succeed, and
the confusion only deepens.
The question that kept
troubling me was this: if everyone knows what it takes to be successful, and if
all of us in the corporate world are “well-trained,” then why are so many
people still struggling to achieve their own definition of success?
Why do so many people
retire with a sense of unfulfillment? Why do so many dreams fade away? Why is
it that only a few manage to make it to the top? Why?
To answer these
questions, I left the comfort of my well-settled corporate life in America and
immersed myself in research to uncover the root of this gap. My curiosity and
exploration became the springboard for what is now known as the Success Within
Coaching methodology.
Fast forward to today—my
work has transformed the results of numerous organizations and touched millions
of people across the globe. It has become my life’s purpose to help individuals
and organizations develop a leadership mindset and succeed at their work. To
this day, I feel blessed that my workshops, keynotes, and books continue to
help people awaken the leader within themselves.
Looking back, I can say
with certainty: uneasiness is a gift. It changed the trajectory of my life and
brought me immense fulfillment.
When
Saying Yes Shapes Your Career
I think all the
experiences I’ve had—both good and bad—were needed to get me to where I am. In
life and business, you must learn to connect the dots. For instance, when I
look back, I realize it all started with that first job in marketing, which did
not fit into my plan. Many people said it was career suicide—that I would never
be able to come back to HR if I started off in marketing. Many rejected the job,
but I accepted it.
It was from there that my
work got noticed by the management, and in time, I was promoted to become the
Head of the Pan-India HR Department.
And then, at every step,
I accepted what others rejected. When people rejected speaking offers, I
accepted them. When people rejected doing extra work outside of their job
description, I accepted it. This helped me build myself, and today I am
selective about what I choose to give my energy to. Early on in your career and
business, you must be willing to jump in, take that job, and find your way
through.
How
I Turned Barriers into Opportunities
The biggest challenge for
me was getting corporate America to believe in my leadership content. You see,
in America, people from India are often seen as hardworking, head-down
individuals with an MBA or IT degree. So, when I first started in the field of
leadership speaking, coaching, and book writing, I wasn’t aware of any women of
Indian descent in America doing exactly what I wanted to do. It was, and still
is, a predominantly white male-dominated field. There were no role models or
guidance I could turn to at that time. Eventually, I became known as the only
woman of Indian descent to be a leadership speaker and author in the USA. In
America, you are recognized not by your gender or color, but by the value you
bring.
From this experience, I
learned that challenges do not come based on your gender. Challenges are for
anyone who dreams big, and your responsibility is to stay aligned with your
higher purpose. When you make decisions with your higher goal in mind, there is
no confusion—the Universe itself will guide your next step.
What kept me going
despite the challenges was the book Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do,
gifted to me by my father when I completed my undergrad. The book teaches how
to build a positive self-image, no matter the problem, and shows how we often
stand in our own way of success. It helped me overcome inner challenges,
navigate obstacles, and define who I am, allowing me to stay resilient during
difficult times.
Balancing
Inner Self with Leadership
Growing up, my father
always taught me a golden mantra: people are all made from the same five
elements—Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Aether.
This means that all
people have emotions, feelings, challenges, and happiness; it is only the
environment in which they live that shapes them differently. I look at people
as human beings, not as human doings. This perspective helps me remove cultural
barriers while supporting them with their career challenges.
Additionally, as an
executive coach, I make it a point to understand the culture from which my
client comes. I believe that people are fundamentally the same, no matter the
continent. My leadership philosophy is grounded in the principle of Success Is
Within, which aims to transform both thinking and behaviors.
In fact, all of my books
are self-help leadership guides designed to help readers balance their
leadership traits with their inner selves.
Shaping India’s Future Through Leadership
For 21 years, I have been
helping corporate America and the Western world develop world-class leaders.
Every time I traveled to India, I noticed one major challenge: companies in
India still follow the concept of “trained leaders,” where leadership is tied to
position titles and there is a strong focus on skill sets. India is widely
recognized for producing MBAs and engineers, but not enough leaders.
I align my vision with
India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s mission of building a developed nation
and promoting Make in India. That is the purpose behind my work in India.
A significant portion of
a nation’s economic growth comes from its organizations and people. India has
an abundance of talent and a large, capable workforce. When this workforce
develops world-class leadership skills, it directly drives organizational
growth, which in turn contributes substantially to the country’s economic
development.
My sincere advice to aspiring leaders is to be unique, bring out the best in yourself, and use your abilities and talents to help India become a nation with a strong leadership spirit.